Dean Answers Questions About First Date Topics

Dean answers:

Your date must already like you to be willing to go out in the first place, so try to relax. I probably wouldn’t talk about Autism right away, not by name. I think you should explain your behavior if there are noticeable differences. If you don’t make much eye contact it might help your date to know that doesn’t mean you aren’t listening, things like that. If they bring it up or seem to be interested in ASD’s then it’d be OK, but in general it can be best to let them get to know you before you use a label they may have lots of mistaken beliefs about. If they know you first, then find out they’ll realize their beliefs were wrong,

If your date is neurotypicalish, try to make accommodations. Remember that neurotypicals can’t process large groups of factual information about one topic all at once. It’s a bit of a disability, and your compassion would be appreciated. Try not to stay on one topic too long, unless your date is really into it too. It’s OK to ask if they want to change the subject from time to time.

If you have difficulty reading social situations ASK questions. Neurotypicals forget that not everybody picks up on social clues or knows the “rules.” If you aren’t sure if your date is happy/sad it’s OK to ask, but don’t be too intense about it, that can be awkward.

If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything. Neurotypicals have a sort of unspoken agreement not to say unkind things, even if they are true. They are usually aware of the unkind things and know the other is, but it’s disrespectful to say it outloud. Not all people have the social skills to do this.

Mostly just be yourself, but be considerate of your date. Try to figure out how they feel and what they think, using words as needed. Talk about lots of things that interest you, and if your date brings up something they like but you don’t try to talk about it a little, or at least listen.

My apologies if you know all or some of this already. I realize that PDD-NOS doesn’t mean you have no social skills, or that you have any particular symptom.

Dean answers:

-Movies and Music
-Myth
-and getting to know yourself questions

Dean answers:

Just be yourself, man. Talk about things that you both have in common and it’ll work or it won’t. Good luck.

Dean answers:

If you guys are really feeling each other, topics will come naturally, but here are some guidelines:

talk about both of your hobbies. Don’t get carried away talking about your own, ’cause they may not be interested. Don’t talk heavy stuff i.e. Family issues, past relationships, future relationship stuff, marriage, etc. If they say something that interests you, ask more about it. It’s a good way to find things you have in common. Try movies you’ve seen recently, books you love, favorite music. Once you break the ice, the conversation will flow.

Dean answers:

It really depends what you feel comfortable with. However, some topics to avoid:
past relationships
explicitly sexual stuff
drug use
medical stuff
Just see how the conversation flows. For instance, if he has a very dirty sense of humor, adapt to that. Don’t be too nervous, just be yourself and it will go well.
Good luck. Have fun on your date.

Dean answers:

Talk to her about her interests, like music, books, her job, etc etc.
Sound really interested, and ask lots of questions

Dean answers:

NO
she’d have more fun talking to her vibrator
not tv if she wanted a recap she’d date her computer
talk about things you are committed to accomplishing in your lifetime
about your relationship goals in your lifetime
don’t talk about school or work
talk about the sound of one hand clapping
ask her to close her eyes and describe the taste of a peach to you
engage her left brain
has she travelled overseas?
Really where
(you’re fascinated)
try it out

Dean answers:

If you know what hes into try and include stuff he likes.