Dean Answers Questions About Online Dating Advice

Paul asks…

Online dating advice NOT working!! has this happened to you?

So, I read dating advice articles and they say that:

1. if a guy invites you to meet his friends, he is a bit into you and wants to see how you get along with them

2. if he invites you to meet his family (and his mom!!), he is thinking of a serious relationship

3. If he tells you that he needs time apart, he is really breaking it off

4. If he tells you that you´re too good for him, he is really not into you

So, the guy I am/was seeing has done all of this and more – combined!! Everything from telling me he was falling for me to telling me he wasn´t ready for a relationship (and articles say women should not fall for this since it´s not “timing” the problem, the problem is that he is just not that into me!!)

So, what should I believe?
I didn´t meet this guy online. We met at a birthday party.
I just read dating advice on the internet to try to figure him out! but it only confuses me more.

I honestly don´t know what my gut feeling is telling me… =(

Dean answers:

If he wants some time apart, then all the other signs don’t really matter. I hope you find someone less confusing during that time apart. So when this guy actually makes up his mind, you can tell him that in plain English, “Sorry, I’m not that into you!”

James asks…

Any advice for closing the deal when dating online?

I am new to online dating and have recently joined a dating site. I have a ton of beautiful women stopping by to check my profile but they do not leave a reply or message. What gives, are they just window shopping? My online etiquette may be wrong, should I follow up with each profile that checks me out?

Any Jedi masters out there–feel free to chime in.

Dean answers:

I’ve done a significant amount of online dating, and to be honest, I’m often asking myself the same question as you. I know that a lot has to do with the pictures you have posted and the “spirit” of your self-description in your profile. If you come off as cocky, arrogant or self-absorbed, you won’t get much attention. If your pictures show you the same way, forget about being contacted much. The best approach is to use very tasteful, current, conservative pictures. Make sure you have some of you dressed nicely, and at least one of you outdoors doing something fun is a good idea. As a rule, I’ve found that very few women make the first move, but will often respond if you contact them. One thing you might try is to contact the ones that view your profile and thank them for taking the time to view it. That breaks the ice a little bit. Best wishes.

John asks…

Help! Online Dating Advice?

Been talking to a man online for a month now. We’ve hit it off amazingly. We have the same sense of humor and we both play the same type of sport in our weekly leagues. He compliments me a lot on my looks, asks about my day and kids, tells me he likes me, and says he would like to meet with me to play our mutual sport together. He’s made informal plans for us to get together sometime in the next month to play our sport together. He doesn’t have a profile picture up, so I asked him to post one. He said he doesn’t do pictures and refused to put one up for me to see. The next time we talked, I flat out asked him if the reason he doesn’t have a picture up is because he’s married or has a girlfriend, and he said “No, I just don’t do pictures”. He stated he would never be online if he was married and said it would be wrong. Every time I ask him to describe himself he’s very evasive, short, and very non telling. Some weeks later I asked him if he wanted to exchange phone numbers for calling or texting, and we did, but he says he’s not one to talk on the phone really, so we have been texting a lot back and forth. Just don’t understand why he won’t put a picture up or call me if he likes me. He appears interested cause he tells me so, and every time I log on and if he’s on, he instant messages me immediately and we chat for awhile. Just don’t know what’s up with him. Should I give him a chance or just move on? I really like him a lot and this sucks. Any input would be greatly appreciated..

Dean answers:

It sounds like there is something fishy about this guy. Weather his hiding something or just isn’t who he says he is. Ive meant many girls online but would never agree to meet them in person in less I had many pictures/ phone calls and cam chats. That’s how you are sure your meeting the person they say they are. What you need to do is move on. BUT.. If you really must see him meet him in public.

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